From the moment we entered the city I could only notice one thing; old white men. The amount of which men astounded me. I felt like we’d entered an old gentlemen’s club where old values still held sway. Where women still hold the position of man’s caretaker and are born only to serve him. This value seemed to be held on both sides and young women could be seen floating around these men like attentive butterflies in hope that they will take them away from this land of struggle to one of wealthy idleness. For them, it seemed like Thailand and Southeast Asia in general presented a land of opportunity where money could go a thousand miles further than in their own countries and for which money they were treated like demigods.

We hadn’t ventured far, as we were pretty tired from the journey. But we found a decent place to eat food, a small place called W Market that opens in the evening and makes for great people watching as well as the uncomfortable courtship between the white man and the thai girl. I managed to eat my macaroni burger. And we quickly fled the scene.

Turned off by the nightlife of Bangkok, the next days were spent exploring the more traditional side of the great city. We first made our way by boat along the river to the great palace where we stayed for all of 5 seconds before we were forced to flee due to the massive amounts of Chinese tourists and the extortionate entry fees.

If you aren’t aware, Thailand has a king. The current king is the son of the recently dead one (surprise surprise). I’m not sure of the current monarch’s popularity, but I am sure of the previous ones. There are hundreds upon hundreds of tributes for the old king wherever you look in the city. Each tribute revealing some of the divine abilities of the king, such as his amazing ability as a photographer, his unequaled skill as a musician or his blessed talents as an artist. It’s easy to see why his people miss him, for all that he gave them by way of his many talents.

After quitting the palace, we made our way to the famous amulet market. At Ta Prachan market you won’t find the usual t-shirts, thongs and every kitchen appliance imaginable of a traditional southeast Asian flea market, but you’ll be surrounded by an army of small buddhas and monks the size of your thumb. And above these amulets are a perpetual stream of hunters on the search of the amulet that will bring them fortune and cure every ill known to man.

These hunters spend hours a day viewing thousands of amulets under magnifying glasses, searching for the ones that have gathered the most luck. The older and dirtier, the better. The amulets, which are made and blessed by monks, can be hundreds of years old and hold the wisdom and power of the monk that they depict. Powers, which can cure even the most dire of ailments and halt even the worst of luck. Depending on the stature of the monk who made the amulet depends on the cost, so if your talisman is made by some Grand Fromage in the greater temples of Thailand then you’re looking at parting with a few thousand of your materialistic man money. Although, one mustn’t mentioned the selling and buying of these trinkets, as the powers held within can never be possessed by mortals. The salespeople prefer to say they’re renting them out, as they are not theirs to own.

As we were already feeling pretty fortunate, we left the market empty handed. We stopped in a small art shop and bought a sketchbook and a couple of pencils for myself as I had a sudden urge to draw. Soon after we were stopped by what appeared to be the nicest man in the world, who showed us on a map all the best places to visit in Bangkok. We immediately felt uneasy as we were well aware of the various pitfalls that await anyone that looks like a tourist. But the kind man allayed our fears and hailed a tuk tuk for us to visit all these wonderful places. After about 5 minutes in the tuk tuk we suddenly realised that none of these places were where we wanted to go and knew we had been caught in a snare. When we asked the driver that we only wanted to go to Chinatown his face dropped and he proceeded to dump us on the side of the road, one of the more obvious signs that we were duped.

We then walked the few blocks to Chinatown and spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the labyrinth of the Chinese flea market, where man comes to buy everything on the planet that he will never need. Finally, exhausted and accosted, we went home.

The next day were spent hunting the two greater temples of Bangkok, Wat Pho and Wat Arun. Needless to say I had plenty of fun with these names, which allowed me to question everything that we did that day. We caught the boat to Wat Arun first and watched the sun beat the marble mercilessly, burning any poor soul’s eyes who wasn’t wearing sunnies. After our clothes were efficiently soaked through with sweat we caught the boat back across the river to Wat Pho. What for? I had no idea.

This temple was a much bigger complex with a relatively larger amount of tourists. The main attraction was a giant reclining Buddha that was held within the main temple. We spent most of our time wondering how they got him in there and worrying about the risk of pickpockets as there were signs posted everywhere.

Afterwards we walked around the complex where I watched a young boy hit a girl with a ping pong paddle, and then run away laughing into a group of his friends. Refusing to stand by and let the little shit get away with it, I stormed up to him and placed my face and inch away from his. I then told him in as menacing and deeper a voice as possible that he should never do that again until I was satisfied that he understood me. Then I left him there sitting in a pool of his own sweat. I hate bullies.

That night we were catching the night bus to Chiang Mai and we left our hotel with what we thought was ample time to reach the bus terminal on the other side of the city. Being enthusiastic young people we planned to walk from the train station at the end of the line to the bus station which was a kilometre across the park. We laughed at the tuk tuk drivers who offered to take us there, telling us that we would not make it. And thus avoided another scam. Little did we know that this proved an impossible feat and caused us to walk an extra kilometre up and down the length of the park in search of a way through. The time was now 15 minutes until our bus left and we were still walking around looking for a thoroughfare. With 10 minutes to go, and tempers running dangerously short, we jumped in a cab and tried to convey our urgency. The cab stepped on it. Straight into a traffic jam. There was no way in hell we were going to make it and we berated ourselves for our stupidity. We urged the taxi driver to find another way and we finally turned a corner into a clear street. There was now 5 minutes left.

By the time we sped into the bus terminal there was only 2 minutes left and we ran in searching for our bus. Frantic, we finally found the driver and presented our ticket. Unfortunately the ticket we had printed offline needed to be redeemed at a ticket window and we felt for sure we’d miss it. I found the ticket window and redeemed the tickets and raced back to the bus. We put our bags on and jumped on with what we thought was seconds to spare. 5 minutes passed, then 10, then 20 and the bus remained in it’s bay. It wasn’t until 45 minutes after the bus was due to depart that the woman from the ticket window entered the bus and approached us. She claimed that we weren’t who we said we were and demanded we show ID. She then took Richelle back to the window. While I prepared to throw myself under the wheels in case the bus would dare leave without her. After 20 minutes Richelle returned, saying that she had no idea what the yelling women were saying and decided to return on her own accord. Then after another 5 we watched a young man being escorted off the bus. Apparently it was he, who had entered the bus without a ticket and we watched him walk away without question. Finally, after an hour and a half after we’d thought for sure we’d missed it, the bus started off on the 10 hour journey to Chiang Mai. We hugged each other and laughed at the near miss.